Patience is not my best virtue

Ah yes, it is upon me. The dreaded, and I mean DREADED, two week wait. The time between IUI/ovulation and the appearance of the pink...or this time, hopefully, the +. You know the drill - you start paying extra close attention to your body, every twinge, every detail. Anything and everything can be a symptom, a sign. In short, you drive yourself mad. 1 dpo. 2 dpo. 3 dpo. Tick tock, tick tock. You want the wait to be over, but at the same time, you also realize that once the wait is over, you'll be either ecstatic, or crushed. Again.

My conundrum? I don't know what to think this time around. I know, deep down, that it doesn't do me any good to be negative. But experience has also shown, most unfortunately, that it hasn't done me any good to be positive, either. In the past, my attempts at optimism have always lead to heartbreak, disappointment, anger, guilt, and the overwhelming sense of failure. So what's a girl to do?

I don't want to spend the next 13 days operating under the assumption that it's not going to work. That it will be another failed round. Who wants to think that way? But, I've done my research and I know it takes most couples more than one attempt at IUI to reach success, as it only brings our chances up to a "normal" couple's shot of 25%. Contrary to that, in my heart, I know we gave it our all. I produced a lovely egg. Jason submitted a top-notch sperm sample. I received a trigger shot to pretty much guarantee ovulation. We did our business in the evening after IUI and the following morning, as instructed. I've been resting and taking my pre-natals, following the fertility diet, and staying hydrated. We've done all we can do. And yet...

...was it enough? Will it ever be enough? 13 more days...tick tock, tick tock...