That moment when you're just cruisin' along through your Facebook newsfeed, minding your own business, enjoying your afternoon and WHAM! You realize another friend is pregnant.
That moment when you're reminded that you're not as okay with still being childless as you thought you were.
Just when you think you're finally doing better and the reality that you're still not a parent doesn't seem to ache as much as it used to, Facebook. Always Facebook. I make myself 'like' the picture. Because if I don't, I'm letting the sadness win. And I don't want to be that sad, bitter person. Not anymore.
Honestly, I'm much better now emotionally. We need to heal and focus on other things for awhile because we're quite simply worn out from it all. And, the longing isn't as debilitating as it once was. But it's still there - it always will be, how could it not? And when it creeps back up, it always hurts more than I expect it to.
So I close the screen, take a few deep breaths, and tell myself, "Someday. Someday."
FB can be so cruel when it reminds you of things....I'm so happy to hear you are in a better place emotionally and how you no longer want to be sad or bitter. I think this is wonderful. And I still hope and pray for you every day...someday someday...
ReplyDeleteI think Facebook should sometimes be called "InYourFacebook." I often felt that way when we were struggling to get pregnant too. We'd spend all this money every single month, trying to get pregnant, and friends from school would post they were pregnant for the 4th, 5th, and even 6th times. It sucks, and it hurts.
ReplyDeleteI still think of you often, and I will never stop praying that one day you grow your family by two feet.
*hugs*