Two year mark

This month marks the end of the second year we've been trying for a baby, although I'm not sure the last four months have actually counted since we had to stop trying once we found out about my needing heart surgery and then going through that whole ordeal. I haven't posted anything on here since October 1, but basically I had my surgery on Oct. 29 and have been recovering ever since. I return to work next Monday, January 18th. According to the doctors, we can start trying for a baby again in May, although it also depends on how my heart looks and how I feel at that time. I am getting stronger and have really started feeling a lot better this last week so we'll see how I am doing as we approach that time frame.

2009 was THE most challenging year of our lives thus far, hands down. That being said, I am so glad 2010 is here and hope it has good things in store for us. I have come to accept that although difficult to swallow, it is best that I didn't get pregnant all those months, as the result could have been catastrophic...although that realization doesn't mean it was any less painful to go through or that we aren't struggling with it. Now that my heart is fixed and I'm on my way to being healthy, maybe we'll have better luck. So many people, including the doctors, have said that we may conceive easier now that my blood flow is as it should be, although I've decided to be cautiously optimistic about that - I don't want to get my hopes up that things are going to be easier when they may in fact not be. I haven't started up my metformin again since the surgery, so my cycles might be wonky for awhile but I'm thinking of starting up on those meds again in February or March. I've been postponing starting up again because they make me feel so sick at first, and I want to make sure my heart is doing better before I throw another curve ball into the mix. I needed to give myself a break. Recovering from open heart surgery has been so hard, for more reasons than one, and I definitely don't need to feel nauseous on top of everything else. So we'll see. Maybe starting and stopping my heart reset my system and I won't need to take the metformin anymore to regulate my cycles, like rebooting a computer! Wouldn't that be nice! Haha, nice, I just likened myself to a computer.

Anyway, that's where we are. As I've been saying these last few months, we're just taking it one day at a time. The good news is, in some ways, we're starting over. The bad news is, in some ways we're starting over. Medically speaking, this is a new beginning but we certainly haven't forgotten the hardships, anxiety and pain of the last two years. Like I said, we're taking it one day at a time.

Stay tuned...