Ephemeral Shadows

The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held? - Laura Bush

This pretty well sums up what I'm feeling. How a woman who can say something so eloquently can marry Pres. Foot-in-Mouth Bush, I just don't know. My cycle still has not arrived {I think I'm on day 54 or somewhere around there} so I need to man up and test soon to determine if I need to take my progesterone or not to get things moving along. I have spotted off and on but nothing consistent or anything more than just barely there. I know it's somewhat common for women to spot in early pregnancy but it just doesn't seem "right". However, I am encouraged. Who knows why. I didn't ovulate when I should have but it doesn't mean that I didn't ovulate late, so I suppose there is still a chance. I have had symptoms {including a few late mornings of slight nausea and earlier this week, an afternoon where I got a nauseous wave so severe I almost had to pull over in the car --- I thought I was going to heave-ho}. I don't know. I've had symptoms before. Every period cycle is full of text book "signs" so I'm left unconvinced and irked. I feel like I say this all the time now, but it's true: we shall see.

Also, if you're reading this blog {and I so appreciate it if you are, thank you for your support!}, please leave me a comment once in awhile, just a little shout out. I sometimes feel like I'm talking to myself...