Our hope is alive and well

I did it. I found my hope and it grew in me just like I pray our next miracle does. Today was IUI day. It's an absolutely beautiful, perfect day out: blue cloudless sky, unseasonably warm, and just the slightest hint of a breeze. While Jason was at the clinic donating his, er, sample, I ate my breakfast out on the patio, dog at my feet, Mumford & Sons blasting in my ears: The Cave, Little Lion Man, and After the Storm. Jason came home, and we went for a bit of stroll to take in the beautiful morning. Before we left for the clinic, I danced around our apartment like an idiot to release some pre-procedure jitters. It worked. I felt calm and ready.

The IUI itself went very smoothly. Jason's sample was great again (less sperm this time than last time by almost half but still well above average post-wash) and the sperm were once again activated at time of "retrieval". I asked what that meant and he said it's what he prefers to see in a sperm sample - that he classifies activated sperm as "higher quality". Good to hear. When I asked about Jason's dropped numbers from last time, the doctor said it's common for numbers to fluctuate, and he assured us that although we've gotten used to seeing super high numbers, the number we saw for today's procedure was still great and well above average. My cervical mucus was also good, so all in all, it was a good effort. We gave it our best shot, and now we'll wait and see what the next 16 days brings.

Jason and I really prefer this doctor to our first. Not only is he more personable, but he said, "So sperm and egg met up last time, which is a huge accomplishment, but we'd like this pregnancy to cooperate with us a bit more." He's already referring to this cycle as '"this pregnancy" - the positive attitude is so encouraging and refreshing, and even though nothing is guaranteed, we were certainly thankful for his optimism.

I asked for the day off, so I've spent the morning on the couch watching Cold Case Files and I Love Lucy re-runs. I plan to loaf around and lie low, being sure to send my uterus, egg, and the little sperm swimming frantically in search of their target, lots of loving vibes.

These next 16 days will be some of the longest days. They always are. But our hope is renewed. With each other, all of you, and hope alive and well in our souls and hearts, we can get through anything. Please, please let this be the month we conceive our baby. Please please please. We've been waiting such a long time to meet our miracle.