It's happened. I've somehow begun to liken myself to electronic equipment. I was thinking about things while doing laundry tonight and it dawned on me that I'm like our Mac lap top. It needs a new battery so it doesn't hold a charge, even when it's plugged in. Kind of like me. Even with help, even on clomid, even when using ovulation prediction kits with my returned regular cycles, even when there are professionals telling us when and when not to do our business, I can't get pregnant. Jason's guys can't do their job because for some reason, they're not meeting up with an egg, and even if they do meet, they're not happy together. In short, I can't hold a charge.
I know my 2 week wait for this cycle isn't over yet so I don't yet have cause to feel defeated, but I can't help it. 16 "nope, you're not pregnant yet" cycles have done this to me. I hope and pray that this month, I can hold my charge. Please, oh please let me be pregnant.
You are a true writer- even when you are stressed you have an eloquent way of using imagery to get your point across. You're in my prayers...all my love to you over the miles.
ReplyDeleteYou are always in my Prayers sweetie!!! I LOVE YOU!!!
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Overies aside...what the HELL is it with Apple batteries?!!!! However, unlike Apple, you have a ton of people willing and wishing they could help!
ReplyDeleteYeah, every issue I've ever had with my Mac is battery related too. BUT we are praying for you here. We will always be praying for you. I know you are worried and frustrated and stressed and sad and feeling betrayed in so many ways. And no I don't understand that exactly but, in many ways, those are the feelings that come with parenthood, ever mixed in with the joys. I have those same feelings everyday so I do understand. My worries may be different, like whether or not Dylan has a broken leg or how closely to watch Joshie because I just can't wrap my head around trusting the dr about his heart, but I understand your heart in some ways. I will be praying for you. I'll call you later today and we can have a chat. :)
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