I'm having a hard time coming up with topics to blog about. I'm in "tweener" land - we're on hold trying to conceive until January, still recovering from our loss, and still desperately yearning for a baby. It's an odd place to be. I can't write about cycle stuff because I'm not taking any meds, so no procedures, no blood work, no doctor's appointments, no nothing. I've written all I can write, for now at least, about our miscarriage. And I think we all understand the constant yearning to become a family, which seems especially pronounced around the holidays. So, we're just waiting impatiently for January.
I guess the one thing I can report is that I had my annual pap appointment today and it was harder than I thought it would be to fill out the little information page prior to my appointment. For the first time ever, I could check the "yes,I've been pregnant" box, but the next part was the hardest: checking the miscarriage box. I wasn't ready for that little dose of reality this morning.
On a positive note, I really liked my new OB-GYN. I was able to snag an appointment with the doctor who was recommended to me when I was pregnant. He is soft spoken, kind, and gentle. He genuinely seemed sorry for our loss, and handled me with such care. He does want me to go back on Metformin - BLEH. I am NOT a fan of that drug. In fact, I swore I would never go back on it. But never say never, I guess. He said that at even at a low dose, there is substantial documentation that women with PCOS can lower their risk of miscarriage (since women with PCOS have double the risk of "normal" women). I did not know that, I thought it was mostly to help regulate cycles and help you get pregnant, and that is why I'm taking him up on his recommendation. I need to do whatever I can to give us the best odds possible next time, should we be so lucky to be blessed with a next time.
I will begin taking 250mg once a day for 2 weeks sometime soon. Then, he wants me to try 250mg 2x a day. The last time I was on Metformin, I had a horrible reaction, even at 500mg. I couldn't tolerate it. It made me sicker than sick; couldn't keep anything down. He said that I'm an atypical PCOS case (no weight issues, no insulin issues, just mainly the presence of those pesky cysts!) and as such, he would not recommend I take more than 500mg, ever. My last doctor had me taking 500mg, then 1000mg, then back down to 800mg...no wonder I was sick!! : /
Anywho, that's the report. I wish things were different. I wish I was still pregnant. I would have been 11 weeks yesterday.
Thinking of you. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have to go back on the metformin. I hope this new doctor's approach works better for you.
I've been thinking of you. So glad to hear from you. I know that limbo land sucks! I'm glad you like your new doc. That's interesting about the Metformin! I really hope it helps. Sending hugs and love.
ReplyDeleteIt's so annoying that different Doctors tell you different things. It makes it really hard to know what the right thing to do is! I really hope the Metformin is easier on you this time. I remember how sick it use to make you. I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed. ... ~ Cathy
ReplyDeleteI feel like you. It's strange to take time off. When you're so used to charting, taking pills or giving yourself shots it's weird to not do anything. I kinda feel lost and even a little jealous when I read about other people's cycles.
ReplyDeleteI think one thing that will help you get through the wait is just to post about things going on in every day life. Even though you aren't cycling, life is still moving forward. I get caught in that funk too. "I'm in the TWW. I've got nothing to blog about." Even though my blog isn't supposed to be about TTC anymore. lol
ReplyDeleteI think infertility also teaches us to never say never. I said I would never do any form of injectibles again, yet I've gotten triggers the last two months and a progesterone boost last month. I think when it really comes down to it, we find that little ray of hope in trying it one.more.time. So we take it.
Until Jan, just find and write about the things that are going good.
*hugs*