This is why I hesitated

Not sure how I feel about where I am right now, but at least I'm somewhere, I guess. I ended up biting the bullet and placed a call to the fertility office to see what the doctor wanted me to do next. When a nurse returned my call, she originally suggested that I come in for an ultrasound and have some more blood drawn to see where I stand right now and what may be happening to inhibit the cycle and to see if I ovulated, which they can apparently tell from the ultrasound and blood work. I reminded her that we now live in Redlands and schlepping from here to LA (the closest office to us) takes some advance planning. To which she replied that, given our new location, perhaps we should consider seeing another specialists...WHAT?!?! Not what I had expected to hear. At all. I told her that I was really uncomfortable with that; that starting over someplace new was not an attractive option given the complicated situation we are dealing with (heart surgery, pacemaker, PCOS patient with atypical PCOS); that Dr. Surrey's reputation alone is what drew me to his practice and that we were fully committed to proceeding with our treatments under his care but had hoped he had an affiliation with a clinic closer to home that we could see for ultrasounds and smaller procedures, as we did in Santa Barbara; that we were happy to come in to consult with him in his Beverly Hills office and if it came to having larger, more complicated procedures that we would make the drive but had hoped to continue in his care; that we had established a patient/Dr relationship and if I started all over again, I'd be STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN; that if we were going to be paying this financial and emotional price, I wanted to be seeing someone who could ultimately get us to where we want to be: pregnant. So, she said she would talk to Dr. Surrey and see what's what.

I am confused and frazzled. I talked to my good friend, Jess and she calmed me down, and pointed out that perhaps, just perhaps, it's not a terrible idea to consider choosing a clinic closer to where we now reside; that the drive and logistical nightmare that would result from living so far from our clinic might be too much stress on us and end up being a bigger detriment than anticipated; that maybe a fresh pair of eyes on my "case" would be a good thing and that just because I believe Dr. Surrey can help us achieve our dream doesn't mean another doctor can't. All true and points taken. I just need to wrap my head around the possibility of seeing a new doctor and taking this in a new direction. {Thank you, Jess, for taking the time to listen and help me see what I was missing in my hysteria.}

Who knows --- maybe a new perspective wouldn't be so bad. Maybe this is what is meant to be, and will make all the difference. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I just want someone to fix this, and help us make our dream a reality.