Sometimes, I am overcome with an intense feeling of longing. I look at my friend's children, their shiny happy faces, at my female friends' burgeoning bumps, and I just can't help but think, "Why not me? Why not us?"
Are we not good people? Are we not deserving of what so many of our family and friends have attained? Why must our path to parenthood be so riddled with hardship? I know it is futile to compare, to be angry, to be envious. It's not healthy, and it doesn't change what is. I know that. Goodness knows I have learned it the hard way. But I long to be a mom. I long to expand our family. Sometimes, I feel the longing so deep within myself that it's all I can do to contain it.
And it is in those moments that I must force myself to say -- to believe--, "Some day. Some day."
You ARE good people. You are great, amazing, and wonderful people!!! I don't know why you both are faced with this but it is NOT a reflection of who you are.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cathy. I do know but sometimes, knowing doesn't stop the wondering from happening. I know there isn't a reason we've been dealt these cards but I wish there was an easy solution. Or an obvious one. Some day!!
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ReplyDeleteI hate that you are going through this. I hope you know that your challenges are not a reflection of your character - but let me reiterate: your struggles are not in any way, shape, or form, a reflection of your character. And a few more things to remember: Your dreams will be realized. You are a beautiful and worthwhile person. This isn't fair and it is perfectly okay to recognize that. You are loved, my friend.
Thanks, friend. As I replied to my friend Cathy, I do know it's not truly a reflection of who we are or what we've done or not done, but I just wish there was an answer, a solution, a resolution to our situation that was within reach, and there just isn't yet. But you're right -- one day, the dream of our family will be realized. Just not yet. And for whatever reason, that's how it's meant to be. But...I don't have to agree with it or like it hahaha ;)
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