I have been asking myself that question a lot recently also. I happened across your blog after being on Facebook and seeing all my pregnant friends, which led to looking through adoption sites, which led to crying, which led to praying, which, it seems, led me to you. We have a lot in common. I too am 27, was diagnosed with PCOS at the tender age of 13. I am also a skinny cyster. I've only had one period my whole life without medication. That was my very first visit from AF at age 12. Since then I have been on BC pills, metformin, progesterone, clomid, and aldactone. I've tried OTC supplements like Pregnitude, Vitex, evening primrose, spearmint tea, DIM... The list goes on and on. My husband and and I have been TTC for over 2 years. I am a nurse, and I get so sad and frustrated when little teenage girls come to the office pregnant with a baby they never wanted. I am very sorry you are going through a similar situation. I know what it's like to want to punch people in the throat when they don't know you and are trying to be nice by asking "When are you planning to have children?" or "Happy mother's day!" Puke.
Thank you for being an inspirer for me today. I appreciate you, and will be praying :)
Hi Jacey, Welcome, and I'm so glad you found me! The frustration and, I'm sorry to say, pain of this journey are truly immeasureable. As you have read in other posts of mine, my husband and I began trying for a family February of 2008. We launched our "break from TTC" summer of 2012 -- for us, it has been a necessary, therapeutic and cathartic time of healing. But that doesn't mean it hasn't been hard. In addition to PCOS, there have been other physical and medical challenges, namely my open heart surgery in 2009. We have also suffered a miscarriage (October 2011). It has been a LOOONG road, and most unfortunately, it's not over yet. One way or another, we WILL be parents. The how and when are the factors that remain to be seen.
This question today came from a frustrated place. This week alone, 2 friends have given birth and a pregnancy announcement has been made. And it's only Tuesday. Many of my friends are pregnant right now, some due in the coming weeks and months, others later in the year. But it seems that no matter where I look lately, I'm surrounded by pregnant women and expectant couples. After all these years, I'm still left thinking, "When will it be our turn?" It feels like I've been asking that question forever.
I hope you find answers. I hope you find the treatment, or diet, or procedure, or adoption agency that makes you a family. I hope it happens soon and not years from now, as it has been for us. I pray for guidance, for patience, and for hope. Always hope. Because if hope is lost, well, then miracles can't happen. And I truly do believe in miracles.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope you follow along! Take good care - you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
Melissa I love what you said about without hope there isn't room for miracles. I am glad you are trying to find some way to keep hope alive in the midst of frustration and utter despair. I am so sorry you still do not have a baby in your arms. Now that we have Matthew I feel silly some days for yearning for another and that ache that I feel when I see a pregnancy announcement or pregnant belly. Infertility socks and leaves a huge impact on our hearts.
On another note....weren't you and your husband trying to lose weight? If so how is that going?
Hi Jess, Thank you for your kind comment! It is a struggle at times but I do strongly believe that without hope, we are lost. We won't ever give up on our dream of a family!!
About the weight loss, no, my husband and I are both small people. While I do have PCOS, I am what is referred to as a "skinny cyster" so weight loss is not a part of our infertility road. However, I have upped my exercise regime (I go to the gym on average, every other day) - while weight loss is not the goal, continuing to stay active and healthy is :) I have also cut out gluten as I have read several new studies linking gluten and PCOS - who really knows but I'm willing to do what I can to keep my wonky hormones in line!!
Many blessings to you and your little family. I don't think people with infertility ever feel "healed" even when/if the children they have so longed for come into their lives, one way or another. I hope you are well and content - but I can certainly understand the yearning to give your Matthew a sibling. Maybe one day, some way, it will happen. I truly hope it does!
Hi Melissa,
ReplyDeleteI have been asking myself that question a lot recently also. I happened across your blog after being on Facebook and seeing all my pregnant friends, which led to looking through adoption sites, which led to crying, which led to praying, which, it seems, led me to you. We have a lot in common. I too am 27, was diagnosed with PCOS at the tender age of 13. I am also a skinny cyster. I've only had one period my whole life without medication. That was my very first visit from AF at age 12. Since then I have been on BC pills, metformin, progesterone, clomid, and aldactone. I've tried OTC supplements like Pregnitude, Vitex, evening primrose, spearmint tea, DIM... The list goes on and on. My husband and and I have been TTC for over 2 years. I am a nurse, and I get so sad and frustrated when little teenage girls come to the office pregnant with a baby they never wanted. I am very sorry you are going through a similar situation. I know what it's like to want to punch people in the throat when they don't know you and are trying to be nice by asking "When are you planning to have children?" or "Happy mother's day!" Puke.
Thank you for being an inspirer for me today. I appreciate you, and will be praying :)
Hi Jacey,
DeleteWelcome, and I'm so glad you found me! The frustration and, I'm sorry to say, pain of this journey are truly immeasureable. As you have read in other posts of mine, my husband and I began trying for a family February of 2008. We launched our "break from TTC" summer of 2012 -- for us, it has been a necessary, therapeutic and cathartic time of healing. But that doesn't mean it hasn't been hard. In addition to PCOS, there have been other physical and medical challenges, namely my open heart surgery in 2009. We have also suffered a miscarriage (October 2011). It has been a LOOONG road, and most unfortunately, it's not over yet. One way or another, we WILL be parents. The how and when are the factors that remain to be seen.
This question today came from a frustrated place. This week alone, 2 friends have given birth and a pregnancy announcement has been made. And it's only Tuesday. Many of my friends are pregnant right now, some due in the coming weeks and months, others later in the year. But it seems that no matter where I look lately, I'm surrounded by pregnant women and expectant couples. After all these years, I'm still left thinking, "When will it be our turn?" It feels like I've been asking that question forever.
I hope you find answers. I hope you find the treatment, or diet, or procedure, or adoption agency that makes you a family. I hope it happens soon and not years from now, as it has been for us. I pray for guidance, for patience, and for hope. Always hope. Because if hope is lost, well, then miracles can't happen. And I truly do believe in miracles.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope you follow along! Take good care - you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
Melissa I love what you said about without hope there isn't room for miracles. I am glad you are trying to find some way to keep hope alive in the midst of frustration and utter despair. I am so sorry you still do not have a baby in your arms. Now that we have Matthew I feel silly some days for yearning for another and that ache that I feel when I see a pregnancy announcement or pregnant belly. Infertility socks and leaves a huge impact on our hearts.
ReplyDeleteOn another note....weren't you and your husband trying to lose weight? If so how is that going?
Hi Jess,
DeleteThank you for your kind comment! It is a struggle at times but I do strongly believe that without hope, we are lost. We won't ever give up on our dream of a family!!
About the weight loss, no, my husband and I are both small people. While I do have PCOS, I am what is referred to as a "skinny cyster" so weight loss is not a part of our infertility road. However, I have upped my exercise regime (I go to the gym on average, every other day) - while weight loss is not the goal, continuing to stay active and healthy is :) I have also cut out gluten as I have read several new studies linking gluten and PCOS - who really knows but I'm willing to do what I can to keep my wonky hormones in line!!
Many blessings to you and your little family. I don't think people with infertility ever feel "healed" even when/if the children they have so longed for come into their lives, one way or another. I hope you are well and content - but I can certainly understand the yearning to give your Matthew a sibling. Maybe one day, some way, it will happen. I truly hope it does!